Life is a wonderful twister.
I look into the hours of the day where I do nothing and still feel I have enjoyed them. Everything is so hazy and unpredictable when things are happening around you.
There are days where I love to be in my life, I like to cajole myself for all the good times and the hope that they'll be everlasting. I want to live every moments of those repeatedly, sing a song along, play a band within my soul, and make it feel my life is worth everything I could ask for.
But with experience I now know, life always has other plans.
The scientific being in me would analyse, is it the fact that every brain tissue and every moment of impulse brings a randomized identic response to the human being? And maybe every event that happens in life with you and the people who surround you is just a conjecture of the combined efforts of such responses that each of them had no control on anyways. Its roughly a mind numbing explanation, a good way for me to release myself for all responsibility of anything happening around me, good or bad.
Life has taught me that it is not always true.
The philosophical being in me tries to explain that life is made up of a series of events - written in another world, a self evolving entity called as the GOD makes and revolves them to guide them on the path of evolution, growth, sustenance and finally annihilation of each living entity in the universe. The cycle begins and is woven as a complicated web of events, actions, perceptions, sentiments with each individual person.The self evolving entity called GOD has a client app living inside each individual, who communicates with the server app (remotely and in encrypted form) and runs algorithm inside it based on inputs from the life of various persons, and his own sense of what he/she sees around.
In any of the cases, I do feel there is something in the external world, which is not in my control - something which i someday chose to fear of, something which i someday trust completely, something which i someday can't stand with, and something which someday I will fill up myself into -- as my soul rests to eternity in the abode of complete freedom from the life cycle.
What that something is, I have no idea.... and maybe I need ideas from more individual person around me like you... those who can tell me what they feel about this.
Last but not the least, a very important question -> I read in one of the books that the answer of this questions are obtained only at the moment when your soul is released from your body - is that true? If that is the case, I don't know why i feel its worth finding it out sooner than later.
Trust the unknown above is taking care of you enough. Let him bless all of you.
- When my heart beats